I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Tuesday, April 30, 2002
I remember that my mother used to make meatloaf with a hardboiled egg in the center. We loved getting a piece with a slice of egg in it.

I remember my father used to conduct Don Giovanni with the cardboard sheath of a wire hanger in the living room on Sunday afternoons.

I remember WQXR, "the radio station of The New York Times," and that in the late afternoon or early evening the announcer would describe and read the next morning's front page.

I remember that WQXR was always on at my uptown grandparents' house. I associate Mozart with the kind of bakery bread (white bread with a hard crust) that they would eat with jam in the mornings.

I remember the large Telefunken radio they had; my father also had one. The speaker was covered with a thin nappy white cloth. It would take a while for the radio to warm up and for the lights to come on on the dial. There were big, comfortable, smooth ivory-colored buttons for preset stations, and an odd pair of buttons for I guess treble and bass, though to me it jsut sounded like a slight change of volume. When you pushed those buttons a kind of dial lit up momentarily showing the increase you were producing. FM was UKW -- Ultrakurzwage or ultra-short-wave. I don't remember what AM was. There was a radio and hi-fi repair man named Mr. Heimer who would come once in a while to fix things, and to replace the needle on the phonograph. Later when I was trying to figure out better ways of taping things I cut the speaker wires of a later hi-fi my father had given my mother for her birthday and spliced them to cut extension cords. I also spliced cut extension cords to the wires attached to a jack that fit the line-in socket on my cassette recorder. I hid all these depredations behind the amplifier and under the rug, but extraordinarily my parents -- my mother! -- found it the very day I did all this. Big trouble, and then Mr. Heimer came and fixed it all and added an odd eight-pinned plug that connected up to the RCA hook-ups for the cassette player. All of this to record, I think, the Turtles.

I remember Tommy James and the Shondelles.

I remember Scott Muni, and Alison Steele, the Night Owl, on WNEW-FM.

I remember Limelight, the radio show, I think on WNEW-AM, but it might have been on WHN. I would never listen to it myself, but I liked the name and the atmostphere of the room where my father would listen to it.


posted by william 3:05 PM
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